David Langford

8 February 2010 The mysterious server problems at The Book Depository UK had vanished by yesterday, and I completed my fell task of Amazon-zapping. All the thousands of hard-coded Amazon affiliate links on this site's Books Received page and past archive have been replaced by marked-up ISBNs which a little PHP script expands into links to The Book Depository UK, The Book Depository US, and anything else I care to add in future. Even Amazon, should they ever manage to redeem themselves. (Special exception: Amazon links leading to their commissioned Langford reviews were the whole point of the long-static Amazon Reviews pages, and these have been grudgingly allowed to remain. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.)

6 February 2010 The vanished Buy buttons at Amazon.com returned yesterday – except for Kindle editions [now also restored]. Maybe they felt a sense of artistic neatness in pissing on all us Macmillan/Tor authors for exactly one week, or five days from when they first pretended to "capitulate". • The only Langford book to be affected was The End of Harry Potter? It was a mild surprise to discover in January 2010 that a Kindle version existed: I had vaguely assumed that publishers should tell the author about such things, although I suppose a complimentary copy (six complimentary copies?) would be a mite impractical since I don't have a Kindle. • My latest review copies added in Books Received have links to The Book Depository and not Amazon. Amending past links will have to wait until I find time to fudge up a suitable macro, but Amazon's days on this site are numbered. • Very annoyingly, just as I'm switching affiliation, The Book Depository UK site seems to be having server problems and is almost unusably slow. Following a book link right now (10:15am GMT) gives me some 40 seconds of connecting to things like books.google.com, affiliates.bookdepository.co.uk and www.google-analytics.com, at which point the page appears in ugly basic HTML with no images or style sheet; then, on the one occasion I had the patience to time it, two and a half minutes "connecting to static.bookdepository.co.uk" before a final "Done" with the page still identically messy and unstyled. Oh dear. I hope signing up with them wasn't a bad decision. (I assume the problem isn't with my broadband connection since other sites, even demanding ones like Gmail and Facebook, seem fine.) But bookdepository.com is fine; it's just bookdepository.co.uk that's taking forever to misdisplay a page.

3 February 2010 A happy surprise: Starcombing appears under Non-Fiction in the Locus Recommended Reading List for 2009. • Three days now since Amazon's alleged capitulation – see yesterday's entry – and still no sign of restored Buy buttons for the Macmillan-imprint titles I'm monitoring, including my own. So I've grumpily signed up as an affiliate of The Book Depository and am gradually adding their links to Langford book pages (see upper right corner here). Expunging the huge backlog of Amazon links will be more work, but I'm feeling increasingly inclined to take the time as their "sod the mere authors" attitude persists. • Oddest book title of 2009: longlist released.

2 February 2010 This month's Ansible appeared yesterday, and I can relax for a moment. The Amazon vs Macmillan feud – and Amazon's subtle negotiating ploy of removing virtually all Macmillan-imprint titles from sale – has been hugely discussed in sf circles since 29 January. It's interesting that so many news outlets have been saying that Amazon blinked/caved in/capitulated when its Kindle team posted a rather petulant announcement that could be paraphrased as "we suppose we'll have to give in eventually, but we won't like it and we hate Macmillan anyway." Some capitulation! That was two days ago, and Amazon still hasn't issued an official management statement or restored its direct Buy buttons, even for supreme masterworks like the Tor edition of The End of Harry Potter? Looks like sullen intransigence to me, and not capitulation at all. I'm considering dropping the Amazon links from my Books Received list, but can't face the sheer effort just yet. For now, let me just recommend The Book Depository as an alternative online source for new titles: they offer reasonable discounts and free shipping anywhere in the world. (It is one of Amazon's small meannesses that their standard shipping charge is automatically added to Book Depository orders made through Amazon, even though TBD ships directly and without charge.)

26 January 2010 Several days of stress and upheaval since Hazel's father was rushed into hospital with a heart problem: she had to get to his house to let in the ambulance crew, and owing to Reading's morning rush hour the taxi arrived 40 minutes late, and ... let's not go on. All praise to the Royal Berkshire Hospital for quickly carrying out a life-saving procedure. The Aged P is home again now, tired but officially well, and normal life should with luck resume. • As a lifelong fan of A.P. Herbert's Misleading Cases, I was delighted (if slightly horrified) to find the famous crossword libel action moving from fantasy into reality. Whatever next?

14 January 2010 Some of my photographs from Rob Holdstock's funeral (mostly taken in the pub afterwards) can now be seen at Graham Charnock's website, in addition to his own – images selected, cropped and generally improved by Graham.

7 January 2010 As this week's snow began to fall in earnest, there was a late-night orgy of artistic creation next door. From our house we see only the rear of this monolithic figure. Today I found I'd been guilty of hideously sexist default assumptions in assuming it to be a snowman.

5 January 2010 At last: Ansible 270 and the accompanying Rob Holdstock memorial supplement are finished and published. I seem to have been working on the latter forever, with various moments of madness including one I wish I could share with Rob. At some stage I decided to add the excellent photo of him on the Order of Service booklet cover, acquired via screen capture from the PDF document. Unfortunately the cursor of my PDF viewer had strayed into the photo area and got captured too. This cursor takes the form of a tiny hand, and the tiny hand – with the sort of precision you achieve only by accident – was groping Rob's fly. As Roy Kettle rather ambiguously put it, he would have fallen off his chair at this.

1 January 2010 Happy New Year, everyone. May we (especially in science fiction circles) lose fewer friends in 2010 than in horrible old 2009. • I've been making some changes to other Langford websites. The great John D. Berry, master of typography, felt it irksome that although each issue of Ansible credits Dan Steffan for his logo (a permanent fixture in the print edition since 1991), the logo itself used to appear only on other site pages, not the individual issues (a quick and dirty decision made long ago to simplify web design). At colossal expense this defect has now been fixed in all past issues! Other "improvements" are too small and fiddly to note in detail. • Meanwhile, Ansible Information – the software arm of the Langford empire – has gone into suspended animation. This relates to a New Year resolution to abandon technical support for cobwebbed utilities that worked perfectly well up to Windows 98 or ME but which Microsoft has since clobbered with several layers of its famous Backwards Incompatibility. It's time (when I find time) for cruel triage of the catalogue into products that might still be sold, though online only; those that can be added to the free downloads; and those I don't want to think about ever again. • Work continues on the now very large Rob Holdstock memorial supplement to the January Ansible, both to be released on Monday if not earlier. There is still time to contribute.

26 December 2009 After a soothing Christmas and general thaw, what could be a more appropriate headline to find on Boxing Day but this? It would be very wrong to giggle.

24 December 2009 Too much stuff has been happening, too much snow has been getting in the way of it happening, and I'm afraid we've only just begun to notice the approach of Christmas. Here's a time-wasting e-card for you all....

17 December 2009 Rob Holdstock's funeral. A substantial crowd at the Unitarian chapel in Hampstead for a not at all religious celebration of what a wonderful person Rob was. Rob came and went, most appropriately, in a wicker coffin with holly round the sides. More about this moving, exhilarating, funny and heartbreaking afternoon will follow in a planned memorial supplement to the January Ansible. (Anyone who knew Rob is welcome to contribute a recollection or anecdote – contact form here.) Afterwards, there was a huge fall of snow.

16 December 2009 As of today, The Encyclopedia of SF (third edition, still in progress) now has over 2.5 million words of text.

15 December 2009 Monday the 14th was Moving Day for Hazel's father, and everything went well – except that I now ache a lot. Miraculously, the phone, computer and broadband connection were all up and running by Tuesday afternoon, with some help from the BT man who spent 45 minutes up a pole outside the house despite bitter cold. (For family members reading this: if you didn't get a change-of-address note, ask me.) Here is a small unsolicited plug for some extremely efficient chaps with a big red van:

12 December 2009 Battle systems ready! We're going over the top! Dies irae, dies illa ... well, not quite, but tomorrow Hazel and I begin the all too exciting process of getting her father installed in his new house. Expect no coherence for a little while. "And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon the Moving Day." My distraction was such that I entirely forgot my Interzone column deadline, but luckily the editor reminded me today and readers will not after all be spared. • In other news, the Fans Across the World newsletter which used to be hosted at the Glasgow sf archive (when I ran the thing) now has a home at Bill Burns's eFanzines.com. • Peter Watts wrote a very gentlemanly response to my review of him ten years ago. I firmly believe he's the victim and not the aggressor in this mess, and have sent a donation towards the all too likely legal fees.

2 December 2009 Filthy weather, but duty called – to London for a Rob Holdstock memorial gathering organized with terrifying efficiency by Malcolm Edwards. Having struggled through the downpour to a nice warm London-bound train, I thought the worst was over: but at Paddington they'd closed off the Underground. Something, possibly the wrong sort of rain, had tripped the smoke alarms down there. Go, they told everyone, to the Hammersmith & City Line at the far end of the station. A huge crowd went, to meet a huger crowd coming the other way through a row of six electronic turnstiles in a not terribly wide overpass. Five turnstiles were set to let people out of the H&CL; only one to let them in. I was mere feet from the dread portal when London Transport staff decided to simplify things by resetting this turnstile to match the other five. No Entry. Now the overpass was choking up at one end with further hordes redirected from the main Underground, and at the other with seemingly endless waves of commuters from the H&CL platforms. Pressure increased. The little knot of LT staff behind the barrier refused to answer questions, which as time went by grew loud and annoyed. If this turned nasty, I thought, at least I wouldn't have to write it up ("Obscure sci-fi journalist crushed in freak crowd accident."). This impasse continued for some while, with the occasional shouts getting angrier, until at last some slightly more sensible station functionary announced repeatedly that the Hammersmith & City Line was now officially closed from the Paddington side, and by slow degrees got everyone in the now quite dangerous-seeming overpass and access stairs moving the same way, towards the main concourse and the possibility of oxygen. After breaking free I plodded through steady rain to Edgware Road, where the tube was working as normal. Gasp. • The Gathering was in the upstairs room of a St Martin's Lane pub once patronized by Rob Holdstock and friends. Despite the glum occasion it was good to meet many of the usual suspects from publishing parties, old Milfords and old London pub meetings, including the Charnocks, Judith Clute, Malcolm Edwards, Chris Evans, Jo Fletcher, David Garnett, Roy Kettle & Kathleen Mitchell, the Kilworths, Bobbie Lamming, Chris Priest, and David Wingrove & Susan Oudot. Sarah Biggs bravely made an appearance; so did one of Rob's brothers and a few non-sf friends. Many fine photos of Rob were on show, and likewise a certain publisher's current editions of his books, including the still amazingly impressive Mythago Wood. The funeral will be later this month.

1 December 2009 Much work finalizing and publishing this month's Ansible, plus the already-prepared Cloud Chamber and facsmile "Eye of Argon" – all overshadowed by the gloom of Rob Holdstock's death on 29 November. • Meanwhile, Lilian Edwards pours scorn on the Digital Economy bill.

26 November 2009 Some good news: despite Langfordian insecurity about my fiction-writing skills, kindly anthology editors have smiled on the somewhat peculiar sf story I submitted ("Graffiti in the Library of Babel"). Still better news: after 20 months of trying and several interim disasters, we have now fixed a date for Hazel's aged father to move to Reading in mid-December. Excelsior! • The TLS reviews the new Oxford Companion to English Literature, remarking that "There is palpable overcompensation for the previous neglect of science fiction." • On valuing one's professional services. • Someone else taking the name of Ansible in vain; unlike the Ancible fellow, this one didn't ask whether I minded. Nice logo, though.

19 November 2009 Back to the work routine after an excellent Novacon: Ansible bits, SFX column, endless bloody paperwork. Brother Jon brags that he's getting good reviews for his new musical show in Chicago, All the Fame of Lofty Deeds: "Hello everybody – thanks to the talented people at the House Theater (and some really great reviews – see above), me and Mark Guarino's incursion into the land of bright lights and greasepaint has got off to a fantastic start – if you are near the windy city come and check out this strange twisty thing we have made – it runs Thursdays to Sunday til Dec 20th (and possibly longer the way things are looking) at the Chopin Theater in fashionable Wicker Park...." For my own part, Charles de Lint gives Starcombing a nice write-up in the December F&SF (scroll down or search for "Langford"). And I won £25 on the Premium Bonds today!

14 November 2009 Here I am enjoying myself at Novacon. The only reasons for sharing this unstupendous information are that (a) I am trying wifi from a netbook for the first time ever, and having committed email am wondering whether it's possible to update this page too; (b) the hotel, the Park Inn in Nottingham, has a health and fitness club called Innaction. Sounds like my kind of exercise.

6 November 2009 Something I forgot to include in Ansible 268 was a response to the latest Frequently Asked Question, "Do you know about this new games magazine called The Ancible?" Yes: Kenny Robb, MD of its publishing company, enquired in September whether I had any problem with the name. Me: "I've been running my newsletter Ansible for thirty years (and one month) with the blessing of SF author Ursula Le Guin, who coined the word in a 1960s novel. No objection at all to your use of a different spelling, provided you promise never to object to my title!" Such are the agreed terms of the Ansible/Ancible treaty. • What is the circulation of Ansible, as one person has Frequently Asked? When I checked at the end of October, there were exactly 3,600 people on the email list and the 1 October issue had been viewed by 3,377 website visitors. 208 people apparently read it via CIX, and an unknown number on Usenet rec.arts.sf.fandom and uk.people.sf.fans. I now print a mere 100 paper copies (distributed by mail and as freebies at the Reading Oxfam bookshop); more are run off by official or unofficial agents for distribution with the Brum Group newsletter (~100?), the Prophecy apa (~10), in Australia (???), as part of James Bacon's sf outreach program (~100 but only sometimes), etc etc. If I knew the circulation of Interzone, I could add in the people who read the "Ansible Link" digest column there. No point in counting the Facebook group (then 531 members) or LiveJournal syndication page (374), since people notified of a new issue by these routes will either proceed to the web page or recoil with a cry of "Bloody hell, is that thing still appearing?" But if I had the brazen nerve of a magazine publicity department I would total all the above figures, multiply by some arbitrary factor – known as the cosmological constant – on the assumption that every issue is read by an entire nuclear family including the dog, and publish the resulting fantasy as Ansible's official circulation. Advertise now! Except that we don't run ads. • Although the Aged Father-in-Law has brilliantly scheduled his house move for the first day of Novacon (argh shriek gibber), I expect to be at the convention. • Happy discovery at Sainsbury's: a spindle of CD-Recordables at one-third original price. This supermarket knows what some people get up to with CDs, as indicated by the sticker....

20 October 2009 It's been pretty stressful this last week or two. Hazel's aged father was awaiting a much-needed operation, with arrangements going wrong in all conceivable ways including urgent documents getting held up in the post. The op took place on Saturday and he's just been allowed home for a while – Hazel is looking after him in Wheatley while in Reading I wonder whether you can do pizzas in the toaster. Next, the parental house move.... • A more personal upheaval was the writing of my first short story of 2009, which proved hugely recalcitrant. Too much nonfiction over too many years pollutes the precious creative fluids. (Cf. Cyril Connolly's Enemies of Promise. At Milford conferences John Murry – "Richard Cowper" – liked to quote, "Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.") • I had thought that heavily symbolic art after the fashion of G.F. Watts or William Holman Hunt had died out long ago, but then I saw this allegory of the origins of the US Constitution. Oh blimey, the captions, the mouseover captions! Elsewhere the dread painting has been naughtily recaptioned and ichorously spoofed. • Authors! Do your publisher's bright young publicity people sound like this? If so, shoot them while there is yet time.

13 October 2009 A Langford story reviewed (scroll down). • Another classic Daily Mail headline (see 25 September below). • Carrie vs Tolkien: a libel action bizarre enough for Albert Haddock. • Naughtily retitled sf/fantasy.

2 October 2009 Life has been a bit crowded again, but I managed to finish Ansible 267 yesterday, and also to update the Random Reading and SFX 2009 Reviews pages. • More signage.

25 September 2009 Into London yesterday for the Gollancz autumn party. The traditional wander down Charing Cross Road was, as is now traditional, depressing: there always seems to be another bookshop missing. This is also true of Bloomsbury. I hoped to revisit some remembered book dealers in the Museum Street/Coptic Street area but they'd all gone. The Atlantis Bookshop is a lonely survivor. Farewell literature, hello woo-woo. (Likewise in Charing Cross Road: I can understand the pressure of tourism favouring pubs, restaurants and fast-food outlets, but why the arcane Chinese herbal remedies? Is this what people visit London for?) • As usual, the party was fun but inaudibility rapidly set in, not only for hearing-aid wearers. Though art shows and friendly acoustics are not at all incompatible, the October Gallery venue isn't much interested in the latter. Whenever anyone got within two feet of a wall, gallery staff would pop up with stern warnings not to touch the priceless artwork. Malcolm Edwards made a lengthy State of the Nation speech of which I couldn't hear a word; however, the sarky comments from Gollancz staff standing near me were sufficiently entertaining. Notables in the seething crowd included Steve Baxter, Alex Bell, Pat Cadigan, Jaine Fenn, Jo Fletcher, David Garnett ["It's the 40th anniversary of my first masterpiece this month (definitely an Unforgettable Year for Literature) and Gollancz are kindly celebrating the event ..."], Amanda Hemingway, Rob Holdstock, Steve Jones, Roz Kaveney, Ian McDonald, Chris Priest, Robert Rankin, Adam Roberts, Geoff Ryman, Simon Spanton, David Wingrove and several more frightfully important persons whom I'd remember if only the kindly catering folk hadn't refilled my glass quite so often. Good old Gollancz. The promotional book of the evening – or the imminent remainder, depending how you interpret the urge to shift a huge pile of freebies – was Charlaine Harris's Dead until Dark. • BoingBoing claims to have pinpointed the perfect Daily Mail headline. Not as memorable, I felt, as the News of the World classic "Nudist Welfare Mans Model Wife Fell For The Chinese Hypnotist From The Co-op Bacon Factory". Checking that wording via Google, I was delighted to find it should have begun with the additional word "Legless", only there wasn't room. Here's the story, which also reminds us of the New York Post's "Headless Man Found in Topless Bar". • I've resisted the urge to examine the new Dan Brown in hope of one of his trademark opening sentences ("World-famous freemason Ban Drown lurched, reeled, belched in sudden agony and pitilessly exploded."), but Adam Roberts has some pithy comments.

18 September 2009 The current New Scientist is a science fiction special (or as they prefer to say, a sci-fi special) and contains my review of Greg Egan's collection Oceanic, written to fit a slot that allowed twelve and a half words of in-depth analysis per story. • Yesterday's RSS feed experiment provoked – and here molesworth bravely bit back the quip that sprang to his lips – some feedback. Would it be possible for the feed to offer the full content rather than just the first 100-odd characters of each entry? Yes, this alternative form of link now does the trick. No HTML tags, though, because the official RSS feed validator frowns on them.

17 September 2009 I doubt that anyone wants an RSS feed for these occasional diary entries (as below), but what the hell: here's one anyway. Still experimental, mind you. May contain nuts.

16 September 2009 Hazel's father still plans to move to Reading, and even put in an offer for a house without actually visiting it (all done via Hazel's reports and many emailed photos). He thought he'd better have a look before signing the contract, though, and so on Monday we all hung around for an hour and a quarter in blazing heat outside a locked house while – as it later emerged – our friendly estate agent had spent 15 minutes at entirely the wrong address before giving up. Several increasingly ratty mobile phone calls later, after every weed in the garden had been thoroughly studied and committed to memory, there was just time for a ten-minute inspection of the interior before the Aged P. rushed home again. • Meanwhile, Hazel had been longing for a faster computer, and I wanted to replace the little machine whose hard drive had failed too often. Weekend: asked the excellent Jim Bisset of EQ Consultants for quotes. Monday lunchtime: quotes received. Late Monday afternoon: accepted. Tuesday, 8:30am and 9:40am: machines delivered. The next best thing to instant gratification. • Minor obsessions, number 5,271,009: a long-standing niggle about the Ansible website was that many masthead cartoons in the on-line archive had been poorly reduced in size – jagged/faded lines, that sort of thing. Now they're all, or nearly all, redone with better tools; and the site map page provides links for every artist. This page's SF Quote of the Moment is randomly selected, by the way, from a list of about 120. Further suggestions welcome. • Years after everyone else, the Telegraph has finally noticed Dan Brown's prose. As Tolkien put it long ago: "Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Thog knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."

7 September 2009 Since the Google Book Settlement was much on my mind (see 17 July), I went on about the tiresomeness of its website in a column for SFX, written in early August. Imagine my excitement on discovering a few days ago that some of the greatest irritations – notably, the way you couldn't discover whether they'd illicitly digitized one of your books until the very end of the registration/claim process – had been fixed. Also, all the Langford titles of which it was mysteriously reported that they "May be digitized on or before May 5, 2009 without authorization" (hardly satisfactory information to receive in August) were now confirmed as having been pirated by the Googlebastards. Argh! Upcoming column already out of date! Fortunately our hero editor David Bradley was able to take on board some eleventh-hour corrections..... • Since my last entry here I have of course published Ansible 266 – for which an urgent TAFF announcement arrived some days too late. • Gary Farber remembers Abigail Frost.

26 August 2009 Here's confirmation that after 30 years of publication, Ansible (like its editor's hair) has succumbed to that dread phenomenon the Greying of Science Fiction Fandom. It's plugged on the "Superbyways" page of the greyer-than-grey The Oldie (September 2009). In the same issue's editorial, Richard Ingrams brags that his official ABC circulation figure is now 34,209 – which compares interestingly with the world-bestriding SFX at 31,327. • Not-so-good news: the rotters at BeWrite Books have decided to put Earthdoom out of print. This could be your last chance to buy before terminal disaster and oblivion! (Yes, I'm talking with my esteemed co-author about what happens next.)

24 August 2009 It is time for a very large drink. I seem to have been wrestling for weeks with the massive bound proofs of Steven Erikson's Dust of Dreams, volume nine of the Malazan Book of the Interminable. The writing's fine, but there's such a huge lot of it, and the version I've only just finished is interestingly paginated: 1-552, then 607-652, then 593-606 in reverse order, then 553-592, and finally 653-889. Thank you so much, Bantam Press, for this added challenge.

20 August 2009 I'm still not sure why the British Computer society decided to interview me, but the result is now on line – complete with one of Hazel's Interzone photos. • Roz Kaveney comments on recent updates to that now rather large archive of Abigail Frost's fanzine writings. • Another film I won't be watching.

13 August 2009 Cheryl Morgan brought a blush to my cheek with a kindly mention in her Hugo speech. • On receiving a review copy of Jim Butcher's fantasy Cursor's Fury, I naturally expected the companion volumes to be Icon's Passion and Menu's Wrath, the whole making up the "Windows on the West" trilogy in which plucky young Enduser must overcome terminal hazards to challenge the dread Defenestrator and his Azure Screen of Death. Alas, Cursor is merely some character's name. What a swiz. • The BBC reports on the problem of translating a Mabinogion-based videogame ("Rhiannon: Curse of the Four Branches") into Welsh. I started imagining the necessary commands for an old-style text adventure: GO IRELAND. BRIDGE RIVER WITH OWN BODY. DISGUISE SELF AS SWINEHERD. GET INTO CAULDRON. TRANSFORM FLOWERS INTO GIRL. DO OWLS. Advanced stages would be fiendishly hard to guess, as in the frustrating Hitchhiker game: FEAST SEVEN YEARS WITH BRAN'S TALKING HEAD. REMOVE VIRGIN'S FEET FROM MATH'S LAP. STAND WITH ONE FOOT ON GOAT AND OTHER ON BATHTUB. And when you'd conquered a particularly difficult puzzle, the software would retort THOUGH THOU GETTEST THAT, THERE IS THAT THOU WILT NOT GET! before opening the way to another teaser. • The Ansible convention reports page is now up to date. • A certain sf title by D.G. Compton has been cited so often in Langford columns that, when kindly Brian Ameringen included a copy in his catalogue, I felt obliged to acquire it. Something to bear in mind for the next time you play sf charades:

Archive of older entries
2009 • 2008 • 2007 • 2006 • 2005 • 2004 • 2003 • 2002 • 2001

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